ter·ri·ble/ˈterəbəl/
Adjective: Extremely
and shockingly or distressingly bad or serious: “a serious crime”
THE CLICHÉ
Hmmm. The term
terrible twos sounds like such a cliché.
While Caroline has always needed boundaries and wanted to test the
limits, I would not have gone so far as to say her actions were either extreme
or shocking. Yes, we have certainly had
“bad” twos, but nothing that ever lasted more than a week. It seems like we would make adjustments,
buckle down, and her behavior always got better. This time it is different. Extreme, shocking, and distressing might be
exaggerating a bit, but life is certainly a challenge right now. For the past two weeks our day to day life
consists of constant battles. Caroline
wants the opposite of whatever is going on at that moment. This opinionated behavior consists of
whining, crying, and sometimes screaming.
Once a day I could handle, but each day seems to have more than the day
before.
DISCIPLINE TECHNIQUES BACKFIRING
Our go to discipline methods are
starting to backfire. For example, I
used to count to 3 and she would obey before having to go to time out or get a
spanking. Now when I count to 3, she
counts to 5 real fast and starts to spank herself. What a smart alec! Timeout and spankings just don’t seem to be
working. I think I need to reevaluate
the severity of these 2 consequences and figure out how to make them count.
MOTHER OF THE YEAR
Speaking of making it count, let
me tell you about a discipline technique that I think will never be forgotten
by Caroline or me. Caroline’s first
public all out tantrum was last week in Payless. She wanted to buy a pair of shoes. She refused to get off the floor after I
counted to three, so I proceeded to pop her and carry her out under my arm
screaming and kicking. While I was
carrying her, she chunked a toy car across the store. When the cashier went to pick it up, I very
calmly told that cashier that Caroline must not want that toy and to please
throw it in the garbage. The 25 minute
ride home was painful. Snot, tears,
screaming, the works. Caroline kept
screaming for me to turn around and go get her car. I just kept repeating that we don’t throw
fits and when we throw a toy, it goes in the garbage. I cried, too, because I felt like I was the
world’s meanest mother. All I can say is
that a week later Caroline still asks about that car and we can discuss the
reasons why it had to be thrown away. I’ll
let you know if this actually prevents public tantrums in the future!
IS IT JUST ME?
Have you and your toddler had similar conversations to the
ones listed below? How do you punish an
indecisive, manipulative two year old? I
am open for suggestions!
I’M HUNGRY:
Example 1
Toddler: I’m hungry. (whining on the floor saying it over and
over)
Parent:
Dinner will be ready in 5 minutes.
5 minutes pass
Parent: Get
in your chair, dinner is ready.
Toddler: I’m not hungry. (whining on the floor saying it over and
over)
DINNER: Example 2
Toddler:
I want that cheese.
Parent: I don’t think you will like feta cheese.
Toddler:
I want it.
Parent: Ok. Taste it first.
Toddler:
I like that cheese.
Parent puts cheese on plate for dinner. Everyone is eating dinner.
Toddler:
I don’t like that cheese.
Parent eats cheese off the plate.
Toddler:
MY CHEESE! (crying because she wants her
cheese back)
RUNNING ERRANDS: Example 3
Toddler:
I ready to go bye bye.
Parent: We are leaving as soon as I get ready.
Toddler:
I ready to go bye bye.
Parent and toddler get loaded up to go and are driving down the road.
Toddler:
No bye bye, no bye bye, I want to go home.
Go home. Go home.
Toddler proceeds to scream for the next 20 minutes in the car.
TAKING A WALK:
Example 4
Toddler: I want to walk.
Parent: You
can walk when we get on our street.
Get to the street and
parent tries to unbuckle seat belt.
Toddler: I don’t want to walk. (kicking and yelling)
Parent pushes a few
feet further.
Toddler: I want to walk.
Parent tries to
unbuckle seat bel.t
Toddler: I don’t want to walk.
Parent continues
pushing stroller.
Toddler: I want to walk.
Parent: No
ma’am. You are being ugly. You can stay
in your seat.
Toddler: I want to walk.
Parent: You
can walk when we get to the driveway.
Get to driveway and
parent unbuckles seat belt.
Toddler: I don’t want to walk, I
don’t want to walk. Put my seatbelt back
on. (screaming)
Parent has to dump
toddler out of stroller to go inside.
THE FUTURE
Closing is scheduled and the moving truck is reserved. I hope that moving into our new home can
provide some stability that Caroline may not have been feeling lately. I pray that God can give me the patience and
wisdom to parent and discipline appropriately. I
pray that he can guide us in raising Caroline to be the sweet, loving little girl
that he wants her to be.
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